at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
