the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
