Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
