omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
