My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
