those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
