Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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