I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
