no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
