But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
