Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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