I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
