U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
