Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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