how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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