no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
