I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
