who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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