do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
