So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
vagina is talking i cant
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
