I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
