Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
