Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
