she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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