She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
