Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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