Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
