It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
