Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
