We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
