I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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