Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
