You're completely useless in the revolution.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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