we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
