so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
