I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
