I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
