I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
