He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
