Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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