rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
