Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
