he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
