keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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