Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
