im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
