It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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