the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
