Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
