Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
