Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
